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Over the last 2 weeks I have been feeling very disconnected from my body. What I have been eating has been very different from what I usually eat. My sleep schedule is way off (bed at 11PM and waking up after 10AM), and I haven’t been to the gym in 2 weeks. I am in a training rut and really want to get back to my routine.
Although I love a good sleep in, I also know that I feel my best, crave beautiful food and get great sleep when I start my day with a workout. A workout in the morning has always been my “me time” – 1.5hrs of time that is purely dedicated to me and my future self.
But over the last 2 weeks I have been in a weird headspace. Either feeling incredibly down and sad, or lacking any motivation to do anything (it took me almost 5 days to shower after my birthday).
As someone who lives with anxiety and depression, these episodes where both feel like they are winning the daily battle can be tough for me to accept. Gratefully, over the past 15 or so years of living with anxiety and depression, I have learned that these episodes are typically trying to make me notice something. It is similar to when my body gets really sick – it is typically a sign that I am not paying attention to something and need to slow down.
So that’s what I’ve done these past 2 weeks. I’ve tried slowing down, and have had the time to really focus in on how I am feeling both emotionally and physically. I think turning 30 shook me a little more than I was willing to accept, and these past 2 weeks have been necessary to remind me what is important, what I should be putting my energy towards, and who I am/want to be.
All this to say – today is the first day I am taking serious action to get out of my training rut. I will tackle my sleep and diet over the next few days to get myself feeling more like myself before next weekend.
Habit Triggers
I just recently wrote a blog about habits and have been thinking about it during this brief training hiatus. Specifically, I have been thinking about habit triggers. Over the past 2 weeks, I have been very conscious of the fact that I was creating an unhealthy habit trigger when I was coming back from suntanning in the park. I would take the way home that was closest to the pharmacy nearby, and since I was so close and always hungry, I would end up going in and buying sweets or stuff I didn’t need.
This is an example of an unhealthy trigger that leads to a quick win (candy) and a big dopamine hit, which makes it very easy to form this habit. The reward is so sweet (literally) that it can start to feel like an unconscious habit within just a few days.
Something else that I have been thinking about lately is the different types of dopamine hits that we can get. There are the quick ones like checking social media, eating sweets, and watching tv. Then there are the slow-burners that take more time and effort, but result in a steady release of dopamine and a longer reward period.
This is what exercise in the morning is for me. The whole cycle from wake-up to getting home to shower after the gym is about 2.5hrs. If we were to think about hunting, this would require a lot of patience, and the reward would only come after waiting patiently and striking at the right time. A morning workout routine is a great way to mimic this longer cycle of trigger, action and reward, and therefore results in a longer period of sustained reward (dopamine).
To wrap all of this up in a nice bow, one of my favourite triggers to get to the gym – something I have been doing for years and shouldn’t ever deny myself – is shaking up a bottle of pre-workout (here’s my current fave). This has been part of my morning workout routine since my early 20’s. There’s something about that that just tickles the part of my brain that says “nothing else matters. Get to the gym. Have a good sweat. Show your body what you’re body of.”
From the preworkout to walking in a beeping my membership card, to grabbing that first piece of equipment, that is massive rush for me and, as cheesy as this sounds, feels like home for my body. My body loves to move and lift and sweat – and I am really excited to get back to doing just that.
How to Stick to It
As part of my hiatus, I have been doing a lot to figure out how I can hold myself accountable to my workout and getting back into this healthy routine. Something that I heard on a podcast was that if you were to set up a camera and set it to time-lapse mode and filmed yourself doing a task you were dreading like cleaning the bathroom or folding the laundry, you are more likely to complete the task simply because it would ruin the video if you stopped midway and ended the time lapse before the task was completed.
In my prime personal trainer days, I was posting workouts while I was doing my workouts. I received so much love and support from friends, even when I thought it was cringey. Last summer, I would always post a gym selfie on Friday’s with a newly released song as part of the Instragram story. I’d get the odd creepy instagram story like, but for the most part, I found this really motivating and started to look forward to the weekly update.
So I am going to combine both this summer. Every Friday I’ll post my standard gym selfie with music, and on Pinterest I’ll share my workouts as carousels as a form of a workout journal, but also to show you what I am doing to get myself back into tip-top shape this summer.
Setting Goals
At my peak fitness as a personal trainer, I was at 19% body-fat. This is what I am going for this summer. It is going to take a lot of work, but I know I can do this and I want to prove myself that I can do this. I also know that my lifestyle when I was at 19% body-fat was more demanding than my lifestyle now. I worked 8-10 hours a day on my feet, I was going out and drinking most weekends, and was having to get up at 4AM every weekday just to get to the gym in time before I had to go to work.
The challenge now will be to beat boredom. That’s the biggest issue for me when it comes to lifestyle changes is that if I get bored, I get lazy and complacent and I start to bend the rules and make too many exceptions. I’ll have to find ways to make sure I am keeping busy, but don’t get burnt out.
I also really need to get over this weird headspace I have been in about my arms and shoulders. Someone got into my head and convinced me that they are took big and I have been so self-conscious about them lately. So much so that I have been speaking to myself in a way that is so mean and judgemental. That’s not my style, so I am going to commit to doing my upper body workouts again and reminding myself that I have beautiful broad shoulders and strong arms.
Lastly I want to get back to my old sprinting workouts/cardio finishers. I recently watched sprint on Netflix and was reminded that I also used to be a competitive athlete. I was able to get myself into the zone and perform for my team. That is within me and I am capable of that, so that’s going to be a major motivator for me.
I actually did one of my old sprinting workouts this morning at the gym and it felt good. Running has been bugging my knees, but for some reason, sprinting just feels right in my body.
This is why I am such an advocate for people trying out different training styles until you find the one that feels challenging enough that you feel like you’re doing something, but also feels like it fits your body. Each of our bodies are made up of the genetics from our ancestors, and each of us have a unique blend of ancestors who evolved and survived in different environments, eating different cuisines, and keeping active in different ways.
If you haven’t tried this already, do a quick thought experiment about your ancestry and the type of environment your ancestors would have lived in and would have had to survive in. It can tell you a lot about your body’s physiology and what types of activities will likely suit your body best.
All of this will come together to help me get out of my training rut. I just have to remember the feeling that I get after the gym, the benefits I feel throughout the day after a good workout, and the confidence I will feel when I am sticking to my routine again.
If you’re in a rut, do a life audit and see what makes you feel great, and what doesn’t. Dig into what doesn’t make you feel great and try to find the antidote to those behaviours or environments. Find your healthy habit trigger and set-up fail safes so that on the days when you’re ready to give up, you find the strength to keep going.
You’ve got this :)
Riley Pearce 